Pleasure Is a State of Mind
Can I tell y’all something? For the longest time, I thought I just liked…a lot. I liked shopping. I liked planning trips. I liked throwing events. I liked checking things off my to-do list. I liked finishing projects. I liked decorating a space until it finally felt like home.I liked good conversations that made you think long after they were over.
Honestly, I just thought I enjoyed a little bit of everything. Then one day I noticed something.
None of those things had anything to do with each other. Yet somehow…They all gave me the exact same feeling.That feeling of, “Ahhh…this feels good.”
As someone living with ADHD, I’ve spent a lot of time learning what genuinely gives me energy. If you know, you know. When your brain works a little differently, you start paying attention to the moments when it works with you instead of against you.
For a long time, I assumed I was just chasing the next dopamine hit. But the more I paid attention, the more I realized I wasn’t chasing one thing. I was chasing a feeling.
And suddenly, the word pleasure started looking a little different to me.
Because why was I only taught one definition?
Why had I spent years thinking pleasure belonged in one room of the house…when I was finding it everywhere?
I found it in finishing something I didn’t think I’d have the motivation to finish. I found it in celebrating people I love. I found it in creating something from scratch. I found it in buying myself flowers just because. I found it in laughter. I found it in rest. I found it in learning something new.I found it in giving myself permission to enjoy my own life without feeling guilty for it.
That’s when everything clicked.
Maybe pleasure was never meant to be this tiny little box we’ve squeezed it into. Maybe pleasure isn’t just physical. Maybe it isn’t just luxury.
Maybe it isn’t something you have to earn after you’ve worked yourself into the ground. Maybe pleasure is simply whatever brings you back to yourself.
For me, sometimes that’s building something. Sometimes it’s hosting people I love. Sometimes it’s a passport stamp. Sometimes it’s dancing around the kitchen while dinner is still on the stove. Sometimes it’s crossing one impossible task off my list and sitting back to admire it for a second.
None of those moments look the same. But every single one reminds me that I’m alive. That’s the version of pleasure I wanted to create space for.
Not one definition. Not one lifestyle. Not one type of person. Just a place where curiosity is welcome. Where conversations are welcomed instead of avoided. Where learning doesn’t come with shame. Where joy doesn’t require permission. That’s why The Pleasure Spot exists.
Not to tell you what pleasure should look like. But to remind you that you’re allowed to discover what it looks like for you. Maybe your version is traveling the world. Maybe it’s reading a book with your phone on Do Not Disturb.
Maybe it’s finally saying no without explaining yourself. Maybe it’s starting the business you’ve been talking yourself out of. Maybe it’s scheduling the date night you’ve been putting off.
Or maybe…
Maybe you’re still figuring it out.That’s okay too.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:
Pleasure isn’t something waiting for you at the finish line.
It’s already showing up in the small moments you’ve probably been overlooking.You just have to give yourself permission to notice them.
Pleasure isn’t just sensual.
It isn’t just celebration.
It isn’t just romance.
It isn’t just what’s waiting in the boutique.
Pleasure is a state of mind.
Pull Up a Chair
Now I’m curious.When was the last time you felt genuinely alive?
Not productive. Not busy. Not successful. Alive.
Maybe your answer has nothing to do with the word pleasure.
Or maybe…it has everything to do with it.
Pull up a chair and let me know. I’d love to hear your perspective.